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Sorry, covid vaccines won't give you internet access

5G antenna possible relationship with Coronavirus. Covid-19 and 5G; 3D; 3D Illustration 

Australia's Department of Health website has been doing a great job of answering all our covid questions.

Face it, there's been a lot of conspiracy theories and misinformation floating around since covid sideswiped us last year. Everything from it being made by Bill Gates so he can vaccinate and control the population to the other extreme of it not even existing and that it’s no worse than the flu.

But now that the vaccine is here, there’s even more theories going on, and one in particular has caught the eye of the Australian Government.

The Department of Health updated their website on April 8th to state that:

COVID-19 vaccines do not – and cannot – connect you to the internet. 

Yes, you read that right.

It seems some people thought they’d get the vaccine and suddenly have internet access in their bodies. And clearly the Aussie government have been getting enough questions about this that they decided to address it on their website.

We’re guessing people were hoping it would be true, given the state of the NBN rollout and dodgy reception in some areas. Having our own personal internet connection sounds like a dream right?

No more hot spotting from our phone. No more dropped Zoom calls thanks to dodgy wifi. And think of the free internet on plane trips now that travel has opened up.

But no, it’s not true. But maybe one day?

If you’re wondering what the future might hold, you can always check out sci-fi/cyberpunk movies like The Matrix (surely it’s time for a rewatch), Johnny Mnemonic where Keanu Reeves has a cybernetic brain implant designed to store information, or go old school and watch Hackers set in that magical time when the internet was new and simple and fun. Just be sure to avoid Transcendence, watching that movie will make you angry (not about the future, but how such a crappy movie got made in the first place).

Here's a trailer for Johnny Mnemonic, because Keanu rocks. You're welcome.

And if you’re still wondering why anyone would think a vaccination could give us free internet, the page on the health.gov.au website goes on to explain:

“Some of the mRNA vaccines being developed include the use of a material called a hydrogel, which might help disperse the vaccine slowly into our cells.

Bioengineers have used similar hydrogels for many years in different ways. For instance, they've used them to help stem cells survive after being put inside our bodies.

Because of this, some people believe that hydrogels are needed for electronic implants, which can connect to the internet.”

Image: OSORIOartist / Shutterstock